Today, the Punctuation Police issued an all-points bulletin that reads, “Be on the lookout for a serial comma killer who goes by the initials A.P. Here’s what we know: The suspect has severed all ties with the Style Guide Gang, is estranged from his college buddies A.P.A. and M.L.A., and has disassociated from his colleagues Chicago and Gregg. We have uncovered evidence that A.P. has repeatedly erased commas falling before the word ‘and’ in a series of three or more items.”
Mission Possible spoke with another officer who told us, “In the beginning of his crime spree, A.P. was acting alone, armed with an eraser that was lethal to serial commas written in pen and pencil.”
A.P.’s mother cried, “I'm afraid that A.P. has lost all comma sense.”
The police officer added, “We believe A.P. has recruited the help of the backspace and delete keys on your computer keyboard. This is serious cause for concern.”
In light of this new development, we encourage job seekers to examine every list of three or more items found in their career correspondence to ensure no further loss of comma life.
In a statement to the media, the remaining members of the Style Guide Gang made this heartfelt plea to citizens, authors, and journalists: “Serial commas provide clarity and consistency in writing. They deserve to be protected in contemporary American usage.”
I’m Sharla Taylor, reporting live from Mission Possible Headquarters. We’re dedicated to keeping you informed of the latest happenings in the written world. Read more at “Punctuated with Humor.”
Copyright 2016 by Sharla Taylor. All rights reserved.
WRITTEN BY A PRO
Mon. - Thurs. by appointment only
Austin Farmer, graphic artist, is a graduate of Savannah College of Art and Design where he majored in Industrial Design and minored in Architecture. Austin creates marketing materials for businesses and uses his artistic and musical talents to enhance the worship service at Compassion Church. He also draws exquisite portraits! Austin's favorite Scripture passage is Isaiah 12:2.